we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
