is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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