Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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