We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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