and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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