My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
