Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
