I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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