shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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