Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
