My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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