Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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