I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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