also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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