can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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