Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize