i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
