Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
