he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
