so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
