Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
