you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
