Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize