What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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