Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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