I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
