put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize