Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
