Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
