Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
