i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
