I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
