Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
