My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
