dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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