Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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