Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
