Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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