i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize