did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
