My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
