He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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