do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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