It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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