I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
