so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
