I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
