Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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