just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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