just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
