can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
