I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
