that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
