last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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