i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
