Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We don't watch enough power rangers
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
