He disabled his match.com account in front of me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
